Most of what you've offered here is anecdote and makes some leaps in logic.

For example, what makes you think that because the social group is small, maybe even just you and the friend, that the friend doesn't devolve to some rote behaviours? We all do, in every social situation. We just do it more when we're with strangers or uncomfortable in the social situation. Even one on one with your fiance, you will act differently with him than you will on your own and some of those behaviours will be patterned behaviours you've taught yourself via your past experiences. So, you cannot extrapolate from what that friend says in that social situation to what he DOES when he chooses his mates. You certainly can't extrapolate from that tiny sample to men as a whole.

Same thing goes with the bouncer at a club. Is he making his choice at the door because of his own personal concept of beauty, or is he making that choice on a societal stereotype of beauty or an expectation set by his employer? Check his actual dating partners versus those folks he lets in and I think you'd find a difference. Across many bouncers and clubs, there would definitely be a measurable difference between who they date collectively and who they let into the clubs.

Even your brothel example is like this. That's a social situation (and governed as a result by social behaviour, not private behaviour) and only really undertaken by a small subset of the male population, but you are extrapolating from it to men as a whole. I find it honestly ludicrous that you are comparing a business transaction that removes virtually all the normal metrics for attraction to "what men like".

I'm not saying that society doesn't value skinny these days - it definitely does - but there is a clear gender divide with how strictly men and women adhere to that standard. Clearly women care more about fitting the stereotype than men care about them fitting it. Get those men out of that social situation and alone with you, so that they drop most of their rote behaviour, and virtually all of them would have hooked up with as a 6-8 OR a 10. Most would have married you at that size, too. When they are alone, with no social pressures around, men like you at a normal size. Not all men, but most.

We all play our roles in the public. Men banter and preen, women shop and titter. It's not fair to EITHER gender that these rote behaviours jump to the forefront in social situations, but we humans are pattern seeking creatures.