Reddit, what is your best story about a poop gone horribly wrong?

KiDIcaruS

I wouldnt call mine a "poop" story .. but I must have gambled on a fart and lost at least three or four times.......

dates tend to be difficult to deal with when this happens.

KiDIcaruS

This is just the start... they condition us over time so that the public doesnt get surprised and feel like revolting or anything. You cant cook a frog by throwing it in boiling water.... you must gradually turn the heat up over a period of time. But hey.... we're alot safer from terrorists right?

KiDIcaruS

OMG this is amazing (angelic voices singing in background)

KiDIcaruS

We must teach .... the people.... to play (dies last breath)

KiDIcaruS

I assumed the rules were going to be much harder than they were when I first looked into "Go", but quickly learned that it was the strategy that was more in depth than the actual rules. Great game.

KiDIcaruS

I'd play it more often.... but I do find a lack of people who just assume its too complicated for them and avoid playing it. It was way easier to find someone to play in college

KiDIcaruS

maybe my view point is not representational but I feel that the hatred isn't directed at the people of the USA but it's intended for the government of the USA. I lived in the USA for 6 years and enjoyed most of the people (few assholes aside) but the governance is another story..

although to be fair ... this is the case in most countries.

KiDIcaruS

Equal parts Frozen Orange Juice Concentrate, canister of gasoline, dash of saw dust.

KiDIcaruS

Id have to go with Ferris Buelers Day off for $300 Alex

KiDIcaruS

when you fart outside of the water... theres a lot more "open air" the gas must travel thru before it hits your nose. Under water, the gas will form together in one/several bubbles and will therefore be more concentrated when it arrives at the surface of the water. I just completely pulled this outta my ass (no pun serious)

KiDIcaruS

You know when your buzzing yourself into an apartment building of a friend of yours and your waiting to be "buzzed in" and have the door unlocked?

Well. sometimes while your waiting for your friend to turn off Judge Judy and answer the fucking door, someone else living in the building will casually walk by and proceed to unlock the front door. This presents quite the problem as he/she examines you and is aware of your situation (that your probably only moments away from being "buzzed in" anyway) but there still is the slight concern that he/she could be letting "Buffalo Bill" into his/her apartment and they'd be left playing Pontius Pilate.

Most of the time people will let you into the building, but every so often some self righteous boy/girl scout basically indicates that Parkas will be fashionable in hell before they'll let you in the building. anyways..those people that wont let you in.....thats one of my pet peeves.

KiDIcaruS

waking up in the middle of the night only to remember half way on your trip to the bathroom that you have wings and chocolate cake in the fridge left from that party you threw for the midget polo team.

KiDIcaruS

ACME anvil.

KiDIcaruS

I was a little concerned at first that the IMF's sales of bullion into the markets would create a oversupply situation but ASIA's central banks seems to have prevented this supply from even getting to the markets.

Im long silver so this is still good news for me.

eDIT: downvotes? interesting

KiDIcaruS

by how government math works, this should push the unemployment rate to under 9% now...

we're saved

KiDIcaruS

mitt romney?

KiDIcaruS

who'd you have sex with first?

KiDIcaruS

Nice try Ford Prefect

KiDIcaruS

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Bilbo Baggins

KiDIcaruS

Im the same way. I find staring at them with a slight smile and nodding gets them to leave the situation quickly. I guess they expected some apology but i just brush it off. Its funny because I seem to get more respect than most people in a similar situation

KiDIcaruS

acquire currency, disregard females.

KiDIcaruS

I was working for a "Plant and Tree" outlet that sold rolls of grass, bags of soil (you know the shit) Anyways, people would tend to pay for their bags of soil, then move their car to the soil area and pick up their bags.

I happened to be walking by that area, and i noticed a man opening his trunk and throwing bags in. This not being an uncommon action, I assume one of the more junior level workers had checked everything out with his receipt. So I proceeded to help him load 18 bags into the back of his truck. I even chatted with the guy and Im pretty sure a comment or two of distrust was uttered about the government. (So we got along well) The next thing I know, the following day inventory shows 18 bags missing from the nightly count...

No trouble became of this... just awkward laughs.

KiDIcaruS

The scary part is the banks are reporting their assets on the "mark to model" standard and not the "mark to market" standard that was the standard previously.

So a $500,000 house that is now worth $385,000 goes on the books as being worth $500,000. This creates quite the stockpile of potentially forcloseable homes that should translate into future "housing supply" that should keep downward pressure on housing prices.

KiDIcaruS

sometimes, if i can catch a wind current, i can spit a loogie over 45 feet.

KiDIcaruS

TROPHY CASE

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